Literary genius :P

hahahaha

2009-03-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

hey my followers!!lol not that i have any!

ok funniest thing i heard today had to be my dad at dinner today i better give the back story...

I had a very weird dream last night where I was on a massive eight story bus!!! and there was a pool and everything! Dad said the water would go everywhere when it went around corners (good point!!!) The mum was on about Cruise ship and pools on them being better etc! Dad was saying not always because and i quote "When the sea gets wet!" Because its usually dry don't you know!! He meant to say rough!! lmao!

I know i'm an odd child wish I could say that was my weirdest dream haha!

So after that interesting and down right WEIRD video by Venetian Princess I must go do something fun and exciting or just stare at the tv watching Munster Beat the Dragons!

Later Gaters!

best post EVER!

2009-02-12T12:01:00.000-08:00

What better way to start my random blog than with a cyanide and happiness sketch I do enjoy a good chuckle reading them!
~Here are some random quotes that I found quite comical some are a lil stoopid but some are great!~

"Never laugh at a clown with a gun." -- Anonymous
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That was you're a mile away and you have their shoes, too." -- Anonymous
"The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with the seat missing." -- Lt. Frank Drebin in Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
"Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip...uh-huh, uh huh." -- Sesame Street
"I buy women shoes, and they use them to walk away from me." -- Mickey Rooney
"Your request for no MSG was ignored." -- fortune cookie
"Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our nose and we blew it." -- Robin
"Insanity runs in my family...it practically gallops." -- Arsenic & Old Lace
"Lorraine, my density has popped me to you (trying to say, 'My destiny has brought me to you')" - Marty McFly, Back to the Future
"I'm like a bad penny. I always turn up." -- Indiana Jones in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
"Tough guys don't do math. Tough guys fry chicken for a living." -- Jaime Escalante in Stand and Deliver
"The meek may inherit the earth but they don't get into Harvard." -- Neil in Dead Poet's Society
"A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip." -- Proverbs 19:13
"I've got a whole bag of SHHH with your name on it." -- Dr. Evil in Austin Powers II
"Sometimes a road less travelled is less travelled for a reason." -- Jerry Seinfeld
"He's committed pesticide!!!" -- James and the Giant Peach
"Well, I'm sure we can resolve this in a mature way. Right, Mr. Poopypants?" -- from Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
"Aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?" -- from the movie Roxanne
“Before TV, two world wars. After TV, zero.” -- American Broadcasting Company ad campaign
“He saw the world as one big rolodex…” – friend of former President Reagan
“If it wasn’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life.” – quote I heard somewhere
“It’s about supply and demand. I have a demand for men and the supply is all gay.” - quote from my friend Michal
“If you prefer high heeled shoes to women, it’s probably good for the economy.” – Professor Levenson, who teaches clinical psychology at UC Berkeley
Real “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” question…I’m serious: “Which of these is an odd number? (a) two (b) five (c) eight (d) Robin Williams
“Do we have any yard sale people out there?”, “That doesn’t look like a standard-issue haircut, my friend.”, “Fiber is a word you might want to look into…that’s never happened before…since I derailed that Amtrak!”, and the last really funny thing the announcer at the Washington, D.C. capitol fourth fireworks celebration said
“Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.” -- Snoopy
"Count your chickens before they're hatched -- count them whenever you can." -- The Count from Sesame Street

Sarcastic gamer is sooo funny and as much as I adore the wii fit that video had my whole family in stitches!!!! Probably because Mum uses it every day I wish I used it more often but I just have issues with getting out of bed earlier than I need to! Ah well!!

My poem for today:

Something came a flying
from a window up above
a guy walked along sighing
because he had just lost his love
unlucky for this sod
the item from above hit him in the head
It was OF COURSE a Fridge
it was pretty and red!

Ah I do astound myself! Oh btw most impotant 3 words in my vocabulary are "Purple Monkey Dishwasher" I just felt that my loyal reader needed to know that! :P

I'm off to paint my fridge red!
Laters!!!

Claire!

2009-01-27T08:44:00.000-08:00

Funny out Barrack Obama doing his version of single ladies! Ok So its not really him but comical all the same!

Ok so dad thinks Lady gaga is hot!!hahaah!! And is fascintaed by bebo and facebook sooo funny!!! he was glued to my laptop as i showed him pictures etc!

Oh I love Cyanide and happiness!

I think its time to do one of my poems that i have totally stopped posting so here goes my randomness!!

there once was a pig called luck
he loved the feel of muck
his name was ironic
as he had no luck
one day his mate nick
hit him with a stick
it hurt...loads...

hahaha i'm such a loser!

Right i'm off to grow some rhubarb or just watch tv we shall see!!!
Claire

Bleh!

2009-01-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

well this video here is an art form Charlie the Unicorn goes to candy mountain! The las line totally hilarious! There is a second video too not as good but swear both were made by complete stoners!haha!Totally myt kinda random!!

Yea so in other news another total random piece of video is the new Coke add! What the hell like! 2 teens in a library studying and one draws a bottle on his arm the other draws a glass on hers and he empties the coke into her glass totally weird!

Ok So people hi I am a total anti Valentines day type person but to my joyous luck I work in Hallmark! Yes a card shop ugh anyway we got in these teddies right! They are dogs that wag their tails and go "give me a hug, give me a gug, i want a hug, give me a hug" Freaks the bejesus outta me! Not funny lol

Ok clearly the lol means it is funny!

Right still no quotes but hey Ian BIT my arm and I fell up steps! Yes I am THE clumsiest person ever btw!

Better Go injure myself! Might try falling Down the stairs this time haha! :P

Claire!

wow long long time since posted!

2009-01-17T15:47:00.000-08:00

New Years Resolution post more I think! haha

Right so funniest thing I saw lately was someone hacked into Wikipedia and changed it so that if you searched Jonas Brothers the only thing that came up was :

The Jonas Brothers have Genital Warts!!! Sooo funny!

Hmm Quotes Are very lacking at the moment but I will get into the habit of saving them to my phone when I'm sober that is!

Ok I just have to say the best video by comedian Jeff Dunham here I know its old but if you haven't seen it you ARE missing out!!!

Right i'm outta here for now

CLAIREBEAR!

Random reigns!

2008-10-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Above is a lovely picture of love and union between my Winnie teddy and babz my bunny! they make such a cute couple dont ya think!

Ok some funny quotes ...me to Sam on the phones "I took you cellularly!" random! Also my cub scout Shane told me I looked like a million dollars...old and wrinkled! What a legend..yes I can take a joke!lol

Heres a lovely poem off the top of me noggin!

There once was a puppy
who loved to run around
his name was zuppy
and he made a cute noise
one day he was chasing a fly
who was a little too high
so he jumped
but didn't look
and landed in a bucket....

I love how my poems always stop rhyming!haha

Today my post is short and sweet
Laters!
ClaireBear

Wow I've been lazy

2008-10-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

Wow I havent written here in a while and mainly its because i've been very random and been playing frisbee in the dark!!! :P Right I am soo blonde I cannot think of quotes from the last two weeks!!! There is soo much but I promise from now on I shall save it in my phone the moment I hear it!!

Heres a new poem:

There once was a lad called Jack
He walked around with a sack
people would ask what was in it
but he would never admit
that in there was some potatoes
he just had nowhere to keep them...

Yes odd stuff there!

Must tell you bout my ducks.... I have three..Edgar, Allen and Poe.

Edgar lives in my Dads car on the dash board he likes it there.
Allen is a lil slut and never know where he is!
Poe is quiet and relaxed

Oh while drunk Aaron sang this "I fucked a duck and I liked it!!"

but i like this!

awww how funny/cute is this:

I'm outtie!
ClaireBear!

yet more innuendo!

2008-09-23T13:02:00.000-07:00

Wel after 2days of not posting i have accumulated many quotes of innuendo splender! Sunday night myself Ian Aaron and Dean went to see the women and these quotes rose from our conversation..

As I put my slush puppy down..... Dean "Woah i thought you were gonna miss the hole!"
Claire "I never miss the hole!"

Funny! Then as I squirmed in my chair Dean turned to me and asked what was up my reply "hes licking me and sticking things in my crevases" Aaron was trying to stick popcorn in my ears and nose! lol

Tonight in Cub Scouts i have to quote my brother AGAIN! playing numbers game he shouted at one kid "you did a number two instead" I really hope he didnt Steve cause thats nasty!!! :P

Ok now for my usual poem!!!

Up in the tree there lay a sloth
he was being annoyed by an old grey moth
He swung to hit it
but was slow and missed it
instead he fell tothe ground
and landed on an ant mound
you can guess it hurt
he was covered in earth
he let out a sigh
and began to climb.

Right need my bed laters!#
Claire

hehehehehe

2008-09-19T13:35:00.000-07:00

Thats all I can say..hehehehe

heres my quote/inuendo for today. We were sitting around the table and my brother was talking bout the dentist and he said : "He used stick his fingers and all sorts of things in there" hahhahahaha I thought that was HILARIOUS!!! oh btw HI MOM! :P

Ok here goes my poem...

There once was a guy called Ted
who fell right outta bed
He hurt his pool old head
And forgot everything
so when his phone did ring
who couldn't find the thing.
but it would't have mattered anyway
Cus his memory was somewhere with it!
He was in a daze for days
till he fell into a pit

The end :P

I do realise my insanity is well insane! My manager told me umteen times today that i was Crazy...Thanks Laura haha

Heres A lovely sketch for today too...That is all
Claire

Another day more madness

2008-09-18T05:30:00.000-07:00

Ok last night my brother Stephen turned to Susan and said "i have something for you in my pocket"...and the continued to say it isn't that big.. If thats not great Innuendo I don't know what is!!haha...It was a whistle btw lol

Ok I wrote this poem the other night and i quite like it :P

There was a snail
who went to jail
for robbing a bank
in a massive tank
he got caught
when the tank broke down
just outside town
he tried to run
while shooting a gun
but he wasn't fast
and he had no thumb!
what a blast!

Literary genius is soo true :P

Right heres another Cyanide and happiness worthy of my random blog! Its also Innuendo wooo!

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

So there ya go thats all for today!

laters!

Well randomness remains!

2008-09-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

Back again! No interesting quotes due to my long day at work :P As for Innuendo plenty of but all too long to get into haha!

Ok I love this look:

hehe I always wanted to mail random things! Imagine getting aa package and opening it to find a stone...how random...

Anyway a poem its totaly time for a damn poem... (yes i realise about 100years ago if not less I would have ended up in an assylum!)

Fred owned a pickaxe
helped him to relax
but anytime he saw a cat
he'd totally scat
but there in bed
it is said
he cuddles his pickaxe
just to help him relax
what a freak!

Yes yes say what you want but like I rather being a lil mad and loving life than a moody fecker! :P

nothing beats a bit of madnesss......

2008-09-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I thought i was random but Cyanide and happiness takes it to a whole new level!
Whenever i find a good sketch that makes me literally laugh outloud I shall post it here as well as my quotes of the day and my poems and Inuendo :P

I must add in here that Jo like to slam the lamb hahaha and look at kinky.ie! Thats just wrong!!

Ok here goes for another poem i think...Two posts in one day you guys are sooo lucky!!

There once was a chick
his name was dick
no one liked him
especially Tim
Tim grabbed a brick
and gave dick a kick
and told him to build a wall...
hes still at it...........

LATER!! :p

Welcome!

2008-09-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

Right let me explain to you what my new blog is all about! Basically as of late I have been writing funny and random poems to my friend Chantelle on bebo and someone (my brother :P) told me I should blog them because some are apparently quite good! Now they may not suit all tastes as they are usually very childish and just fun! They come straight from my head which most would believe to be filled with air and well ya thats it haha

Nah I am wacky in personality and hope you enjoy my sheer randomness! For my first poem I will steal one which I wrote to Chantelle the other day.

there was a kangaroo
who jumped in a loo
got wet head to toe
had a big black fro
and his name was something like Joe...

Stay tuned for plenty more randomness and funny quotes from my super friends! You will get to know them in my blog...

Oh and you will also learn that I have a problem with Innuendo yes i said it InURendo!!!!